Thursday, May 10, 2012

Beach Friendz - A guide to navigate your social options at the beach


There are lots of reasons to go to the beach.  It's not all about beach combing, shelling, & looking for sharks teeth.  There is crystal blue water to immerse yourself into, sugary-white sand to lay on, & birds of all kinds to watch.  And speaking of watching - the people watching is unparalleled at the beach.  Maybe because they have on less clothes than the people-watching at the mall (well, not always).  When I'm not hiking up the beach in search of beachy treasures I can be found relaxing under the shade of my umbrella and checking out the parade of humanity that finds their way to the seashore. Come on.  You know you do it too.




Beach Kidz


As you make your way on to the beach it is imperative that you scope out the terrain for any Dugger-esque families in the area.  I love kids but on the beach they become a whirling dervish of sand, rocks, & beach toys. They are fun to watch from a distance.




Sun Worshipperz


No spf 45 here. Tanners are actually good neighbors at the beach because they do not move. From time to time they will flip over to grill the other side.  They make a good landmark to find your spot again because they remain fixed on their chaise lounger soaking up the rays.




Beach Petz


I stay away from dog designated beaches.  I love that there are pet-friendly beaches where doggies can go & play with wild abandon but those beaches smell like....well wet dog. No matter how much the sand is pooper-scoopered the odor lingers on. Remember, dogs don't dry off with a beach towel.  Getting into the trajectory of a dog shaking himself dry ranks right up there with a kid holding a super soaker squirt gun. Run.




Fishermenz & Sharks tooth hunterz


A lovely stroll up the seaside can be like an obstacle course on a busy beach day.  As you are trying to avoid a sharks tooth hunter digging a 3 foot hole to find the big megalodon, one fails to see the fisherman with 3 poles jammed into pvc pipe holders lining the sand. As the mono filament line wraps around your head you make a slick Houdini move to free yourself from his fishing line & sudden injury. 




Teenage Gurlfrenz


Oh Heck No!  At my age I try not to stand too close to anyone this young or this thin.














The Junonia Finderz


Just keep it to yourself when you find that coveted big jay.  Oh who am I kidding! Scream, yell, jump up & down, do cartwheels, & high-5 everyone in sight.  It is a shellabration - even for a 1/2 of a junonia.








The Beach Warriorz


Every beach comber needs at least one beach warrior on their shell sistah line-up.  The beach warrior has extra batteries, a stocked cooler, & a beach cart to tote everything in.  The beach warrior is ready to beach it rain or shine, hot or cold, potties or no potties.  The beach warrior doesn't bat an eye when you tell her the lowest tide of the year is a 3 am.  She's there with bells on. (You know who you are)




The Beach Loverz


This person loves the feel of sand between their toes. Shells or no shells any day you get to walk on the beach is a great day. They love the sound & smell of the salty waves as they roll in.  They don't sweat the small stuff.  And they know - all the above is small stuff.